Sunday, 18 March 2012

QQ : NUMBER TWENTY SEVEN - March 19, 2012


                                                   JOHNNY'S VAGINA MONOLOGUES:


It's all about the vagina. Which intrusion should we examine first?
An Egyptian army doctor was recently acquitted of rape charges. He had conducted virginity tests on women protestors arrested in the Tahrir Square demonstrations. Apparently, the most important, post-Mubarek issue is now the integrity of the hymen. There's an Arab-spring forward.

Several states in the USA are legislating for compulsory, intrusive ultra-sound exams on women seeking to terminate a pregnancy. Sounds like state-sanctioned rape to me. Now I can’t decide between Egypt or Virginia for the woman in me. Contraception is similarly entering the legislative agenda, where men are determining exactly what may enter or leave the vagina based on primitive, neanderthal mindsets. Dick Perry failed in his presidential bid. He is now exerting his manly power by demolishing all possible access to medical care by financially disadvantaged women. He's my new hero. Go Dick! There's an issue we can all get behind. Ethnic cleansing would be a great next move for Texas-Dick after he deals with the vagina.

I would like to check the integrity of his hymen.

We seem to be in a state of deathly, morbid fear of women and their womanly parts. In fact, we are so afraid that some women voluntarily participate in our fear culture. Karen Santorum has placed her vagina in a sanctified place where its manifestations are only controlled by Jesus and his representative on earth, Dick, who will determine if and when Karen is to die in childbirth in the case of a life -threatening complication. Or what if she simply does not want to have another....."please may I not have more Mr. Dick"?

Dick's place in heaven might be in jeopardy based on the one pregnancy known to have been terminated with the permission of this devout opus dei hypocrite.


The concept of 'women as evil' seems to go back to pre-history. Eve tempted Adam. He was unable to resist and that was the end of paradise. From that point on, Eve was forever damned. But for that temptress, we would still be in paradise.

So, in our modern, emancipated cultural atmosphere of diversity, we embrace all beliefs and all cultures. Semitic-featured women parade along Broadway in downtown Nashville, three steps behind their husbands. They are wearing floor-length, head-to-toe black tents. They wear these garments as a symbol of their dedication to the teachings of the prophet, to guard their modesty and to avoid temptation. Only their eyes are visible and more often than not, these are hidden behind shades. These fashion-specific guidelines were set up only to protect the wives of the prophet, and not for the larger society of 1500 years before our time. In 2012, we pretend to emulate the teachings of the prophet through subjugation via polyester. It's a fashion thing. Of course with means, the subjugation can be upgraded to linen or silk.

It's that vagina thing. Men are out of control and we must do whatever it takes to avoid that confrontation with the pussy. Vulva avoidance at all costs is protected, floor to ceiling, with the deepest, darkest, black disguise we can find. Because under that tent, we might find a truth. The truth is that a woman hides underneath. She is a human person. She thinks, she knows, she heals and loves. She lives and she dies. She bears children. She also has a vagina. That in the year 2012, male Mullahs in Egypt and Mullahs in Mississippi and Mullahs in the Vatican seek to gain control over that vagina is more than troubling. There is pending legislation in one southern backwater that proposes making the insertion of an IUD illegal. Our fellow human inhabitants of this planet suffer hunger and deprivation in the billions. The new industrial revolution has made the oceans and the air our personal garbage disposal site. The pervasive culture is tribal, feudal and corrupt.
We have climate change and the occasional genocide or two. But, at the very top of this mess, if we are to follow the agenda surrounding the current GOP primary campaign, is the all -powerful vagina. The vagina rules.


Rape is a weapon of war. Men of war seek out women who 'belong' to their adversaries. They subjugate these women, forcibly penetrate their vaginas and ejaculate into them. Then they kill them or simply move on to more important issues relating to power and territory. But, ladies first.

This invasion has been a weapon of war throughout history and is happening today in the Middle east and in Africa.

As we wage war to gain power and to gain territory, the ownership of women gains historical priority that seems to pre-date the reptile. Before land, before crops, before power and before god, we will subjugate and rape your women. We'll deal with the other issues after we deal with the vagina.


When we penetrate the vaginas of our opposing forces, this somehow symbolizes a significant form of domination that is seminal. And isn't seminal the perfect word.

What in hell is going on here?

Rape is a curious concept. How is it that a man in the depths of rage, hatred and murderous turmoil can achieve and maintain an erection? Is this a fundamental primitive programming that has any evolutionary purpose?

There are some primitive concepts regarding the definition of rape. Am I recalling correctly some ancient biblical interpretation that suggests when cries for help cannot be heard, then rape is justified.

Designer drugs have introduced a whole other form of rape. Date rape. Now there's a concept. The man makes a woman unconscious and then penetrates her. What is the fun in that? American Psycho, I hope was a sad and dark commentary based on black humour. It seems that it was much more serious.

A recent, trending twitter topic was "Who'd I most wanna bang". Responses were in the millions. Accused, violent abuser, Chris Brown won hands down. Sorry, hands up. This psychopath has achieved notoriety for beating women. Yet, his fame has made him the most attractive, fantasy-fuck for the twitter audience. That women find him attractive is the darkest possible commentary about our zeitgeist. If women like bad boys, and they may, does that excuse the bad boys behavior? That is a ridiculous concept. 'Woman beating' as an Olympic event is beyond the pale under any circumstances and the families who failed these aberrant, ‘Chris Brown fantasy women’ carry sad bags of blame. What will Dick do when one of his daughters shows up with bruises. Statistics show that the likelihood of that happening is fairly significant. Statistics suggest that in America, a woman is assaulted every two minutes.


The word "slut" is being bandied about by Rush Limbugger, et al. However, the more recent usage of the word by a Canadian law enforcement officer resulted in the worldwide phenomenon of Slutwalks. The concept is that if a woman dresses provocatively, then she is inviting rape. Limbugger extended the concept to the idea that if a woman uses contraception too often, according to his metric, then she must be a slut.

Slutwalks are a protest movement where women express their right to dress as they wish. Is the penis so out of control that women need to be subjugated at every level? According to the mullahs, yes it is. I now look to Rush Limbugger, Dick Santorum and the Ayatollah to legislate and police on behalf of my penis and to keep me away from those pesky women with their ankles exposed. Who knows what could happen?


Lynchings in history were more often than not based on accusations of a black man assaulting a white woman. You know what they say : "once you go black, you never go back".

Currently, Barak Obama is being politically lynched. The fact that this lynching has most of its power and energy emanating from the American South, in Mississippi, Alabama and Louisiana is no coincidence. Barry has been embraced by the political loyalty of some white women. This cannot be tolerated. Barry has veered from the accepted course of our native land and its pre-destined exceptionalism. When we hear the phrase, "we need to take our country back", it is not just about the socialist, Muslim, African, anti- Semitic traitor in the White House. It's all about the fact that white women voted for him. We have to protect our women from the black man.

When the Mullahs Sanitarium/Romulus take away women's health care, those same white women will likely vote for the black man again because once you go black, you never go back. That's where the lynching begins.

No president in history has been confronted with so many brick walls preventing any and all forward movement. The guy had given it his best shot, but there's a lynchin a-goin’ on. Gun sales are at record levels and we are in a war to protect our women from the black man's assault on their honour.
The corner of compromise that Barry has found himself backed into is a political position of sad reaction. The better candidate, Hillary is a woman. We couldn't have that could we? Better a black man who we can slow-lynch.


I am curious as to Dick Santorum's thoughts on women's fashion. Does he have a fashion philosophy? I wonder how Dick feels about the color red? Is Purple too Catholic? Does Dick have feelings about high heels, pointed toes and nail polish? More importantly, is there a Dick skirt-length based on so many inches above the knee?

Perhaps, if prayer launches Dick into the White House, he will legislate a Santorum modesty index. This will moderate the actions of the 'out of control' penis, protect our white women, and avoid future lynchings based on temptation that arises out of a shade of lipstick that does not adhere to the Sanitarium modesty index.

The most important part of the new agenda for 2013 must be to get those sluts under control. Demolishing Roe versus Wade will take precedent followed by revoking all women's driver's licenses.  It works so well in Saudi Arabia. Clearly, allowing women to drive leads them to temptations from which they must be protected. After all, they are the superior species and need to be honored with our protective mantle. Keep them pregnant and in the kitchen where they belong. Then we will all be safe. Mississippi is the new Mecca.

The fact that there likely is a Santoru-mist concept of slut-ism and women's fashion modesty is a much more important issue than would first seem.

Fashion is a fleeting reflection of the times. There exists a multi-edited and badly-translated, mish-mash book of fables patched together about two thousand years ago that reflected the political and philosophical fashion of that time.

The Santorumists suggest that they have the key to this book’s rules and that key designates the behaviour and style of garments that a woman may wear in 2013. Paris, get ready for the new conservative Santorum/Gautier fall line of red white and blue burkhas coming to your Macy's outlet soon.


As bad as the concept of a black man taking away our women and our country is, an uppity, black woman is intolerable. Michelle was Barry's mentor and transitional supervisor in the legal world.
A fellow Harvard graduate, Michelle likely has important things to say and do. Political wisdom has kept her well hidden away. We know more about her bare arms than we know about her intellect. Anita Hill was another uppity black woman who had to be disposed of in the interests of the country.

Condoleezza Rice was Dubya’s ventriloquist dummy. She was trained to mouth the letters “W.O.M.D.”, and did her master's bidding. I'm sure she had other thoughts on the subject. She's a pretty good pianist. I'm glad we didn't see her tap dance, although she kind of did.

We embrace Oprah on the same level as we embrace our tap dancers and boxers. Also, she has learned to play it well as a talking head. But she's no Rush Limbaugh. He has the real audience and the real political power. Real men listen to Rush. They universally dislike Oprah because they are manly men.


And then there is the trafficking of children.

The powers that be, from the Vatican to Wall Street, from the White House to Congress, from Brussells to Beijing all have the possibility of setting their priorities and their resulting agendas. Yet, the slave trade continues to represent the fastest-growing criminal activity in the world. It mainly affects women and children.

Check into any major chain downtown USA Hotel. You are a co-dependent of the human trafficking industrial complex. Paris Hilton anybody?


The concept of "conservative feminist" mystifies me. Is this not a contradiction?

The Planned Parenthood website suggests that 50% of all women in America will experience an unplanned pregnancy at some point. Sarah Palin and her grizzly soccer moms suggest that every one of these pregnancies be forced to term through legislative enforcement. Give birth or go to jail.

For all manner of aberrant reasons, there are millions of 'conservative' women who support Sarah, the assorted Dicks and Chris Brown. Similarly, there were Black-African leaders heavily invested in the slave trade to the Americas at its peak. The Vatican does not properly deal with its child molesters and rape continues to be a weapon of war. The Arab spring has not addressed the 90% female genital mutilation rate in Egypt.
Until it does, spring will not have sprung.

I am not a feminist. I am a humanist.

Etched on my stone tablet.

Edited : Batsheva

Wednesday, 7 March 2012

QQ : NUMBER TWENTY SIX - March 7, 2012


Three cyclists ride into a bar

A Catholic on a Tricycle,
An Agnostic on a Bicycle,
and a Jew on a Unicycle

They all fall down..

DEATH DRUGS AND ROCK 'N ROLL (While falling off a bike).

Quality, Innovation and Culture are three words that haunt me. How do we quantify Quality? Is there a score between one and ten? Does a Mozart sonata get an 8 out o 10 versus a Chopin polonaise that gets a 9? Does James Joyce’s "Ulysses" score a 9 versus Dickens "A Tale of Two Cities" at 8? Why is an original Rothko worth more than a Milton Avery?

Who are you wearing?

But more importantly, how do we deal with the quality of our mortality? Does the culture of death impact our lives, or do we simply bury it in the sand until it impacts us or those close to us? Can the quality of death be improved with innovation?


The quality of leadership that we would most likely embrace, I imagine, is honesty.

The "Art of War" suggests that the most valuable weapon of power that one can have, far beyond position and armament, is intelligence.

Intelligence, by its very nature requires secrecy. If we want our leaders to be honest, yet require them to protect our interests with powerful intelligence, then there is a blatant conflict. We can't have secrecy and honesty existing at the same time. Do we elect our leaders to lie to us? Where do we draw the line? Look up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane, no its an Obama-drone a-coming' to getcha! Constitution, what constitution?

In Canada, "Our Dear Leader", Harper has built a wall between himself and the press. He has drawn his line in the sand. He is holding his cards close and he is up to no good. Based on his hegemony, the quality of life and the quality of death will be profoundly impacted in Canada as the leader imposes his paternalistic agenda. Intelligence now rules with its necessary ingredient of secrecy. The fact that he may have stolen the election is a matter of internal national security.

Immediately after the recent federal election the leader of the opposition Jack Layton met an untimely death when he was most needed.

Mortality strikes again. Jack Layton was a bike rider.


Our leaders are not only the elected dudes who run things. We also have our media ranters and ravers. One of these leaders with a following in the millions, recently met his maker. His name was Andrew Breitbart. He was a despicable human being who ranted and raved mainly about small issues that roused small people with small minds. He got mileage out of Anthony Weiner's small weiner and tweeted briefs. Destroying Shirley Sherrod and Acorn were equally small potatoes that got this aggregator/thief an unfortunate amount of inappropriate mob response. He ran a business and raked in the dough based on lifting copyright and disseminating edited bits to edited morons.

The sympathetic press regarding his demise is mystifying.

Rush Limbaugh has now taken up the mantle of 'Supreme Idiot', but he has an out. He has always described himself as an entertainer first. I love his take on those pesky cyclists: “Frankly, if the door opens into a bicycle rider, I won’t care" is a direct quote from the Rush comedy show. Rush does occasionally reveal his internal straight man.....that of a sad, sick fuck.

Here is the important distinction between the two. Brietbart was a martyr. Limbaugh is a self-admitted clown and cyclist hit man. He will never gain martyrdom.

It is the quality and timing of Breitbart's death that gives him significant attention. The latest rumors even accuse the administration of having him whacked.

That he leaves behind a wife and kids does not make him a better person, just a better martyr.


Should we celebrate Osama Bin Laden being shot in the face by our elite commandos?

Was this a happy-making event? I wonder if we had sent the Mossad to bundle him up, cart him back to a courtroom and put him on trial and then shoot him in the face, would that have been more appropriate? Does the quality of death matter? We are constantly reminded of the suffering of Jesus as he experienced the torture leading to his death.

This suffering is presented to us as an example of martyrdom that is meant to instill a multitude of feelings including guilt, sympathy and obedience. The quality and pain of Jesus' death experience is held up as deeply significant.

Had Jesus been shot in the face like Osama, would we be similarly impressed? The symbol of the cross would have no meaning. We would be genuflecting to another symbol, the military assault rifle.
Oh, I forgot. In America, we already do that.

I wonder if Osama ever experienced the joy of riding a bicycle? The resulting prostate issue could have gotten him in the end without the commando intervention.


A worldview from the vantage point of Nashville, Tennessee is a narrow focus that does not distract our attention from important matters. These deep and significant issues include the daily rag's headlines describing the Titan's fortunes, tornado predictions and random shootings. Tennessee Republicans have voted for Dick Sanitarium in the recent primary. Dick's views on capital punishment are unclear. He seems to be much more concerned with the quality of his ejaculate than a choice between lethal injection or hanging as an option between two varieties of "cruel and unusual".

The unborn have taken on a priority far greater than the disenfranchised, the hungry, the poor, the sick and the dying. Let's hear it for the unborn. I can see those headlines in The Tennessean now: Unborn Titans Defeat Tornados While Random Shootings Protect Our Homeland.

No condoms for you; not if you want to go to heaven.


My experience of 'cruel and unusual' is the synchronicity of stop lights along the newly deconstructed St. Clair Avenue in Toronto. City planners have seen fit to have all traffic along a five mile stretch stop at exactly the same time with synchronized red traffic lights, for no logical reason. This is my version of purgatory.

My vision of hell, would be trying to ride a bicycle along that same stretch of bitumen. The city planners did not plan for bikes, they are so 2013. Only lemmings would take to cycling along this treacherous roadway.
It is a death sentence.


We are encouraged to ride our bikes to contribute to the greening of our environment.

Coincidentally,a disproportionate number of my closest friends have recently been struck down during their participation in this deceivingly, seemingly benign activity.

Bob, in a coma, almost died in Europe after being struck by a speeding car; Richard on a bike path in Melbourne broke his neck; Geoffrey, my closest childhood friend is just recovering from an almost lethal brain injury after a fall from his bike.....and then there is Marvin. What can I say? The prize, however is held by my new friend, Henry, who was charged by an elephant on a highway in India while riding his bike. That inspired my new anthem for his tour company, Tour d Afrique. I'm not sure that he will be riding from Cairo to Capetown for a while.

I have covered the planet on my bike. I'm not afraid, but I am conscious of the dangers. I will not ride along that lethal stretch of St Clair. I am, however concerned with the quality of the air in Toronto which according to some reports is the third most polluted city in North America. You can actually taste the air on a bike during the summer in Toronto. A taste of coal, anybody? Perhaps, this is held as a secret in the interests of national security. That air quality does, however support an inordinate amount of respiratory medical intervention that supports the larger pharma and surgical economy.


Propofol is an amazing drug. It was responsible for Jacko's demise.
I had a taste of it for an age-appropriate medical test. It put me out appropriately, but allowed me full coherence and mobility immediately afterwards. It's a miracle.

So, in their infinite wisdom, there are a few states and countries that permit some individual choice regarding death. Perhaps this is innovative. Perhaps the quality of our death is worth some examination. If our consciousness can be so easily suppressed with a drug like Propofol, then martyrdom is removed from the picture.

Imagine the possibility of not being tortured, not experiencing unnecessary pain, not facing an impossible depletion in the quality of life. Hook up to the IV and be done with it. Why is this concept so horrifying to so many? We deify the unborn and the dying more than the living. Another martyr,
Dr. Kevorkian, died for our sins. He was interested in the quality of death and was demonized for it.


An innovative approach to death and dying is a morbid topic at best. Except when one impotently watches the torturous struggle that the contemporary medical industrial complex imposes on us. The large question remains as to whether it is the responsibility of a doctor to alleviate suffering. The tri-cyclists seem to want to keep us alive at any cost in order to have us replicate and re experience Jesus suffering. My mother begged and pleaded for relief for her suffering in her dying days. It was not permitted. The system required her to suffer.

We cling to life at all costs and put our faith in technologically advanced medical procedures that at times can achieve miraculous results. We hang on and survive a bypass, a transplant, chemo and radiation, mastectomies, hysterectomies, hip replacements and all the cutting and slicing that fuels an industry overwhelming in its size and scope.

Is there any room for a conversation about the quality of this innovation?
I am not convinced that the extension of our life span by this industrial intervention is a universal good. It is particularly disturbing to observe the recurring reports of torturous pain and suffering that many of these interventions create. In my mother‘s case, the system overwhelmingly created more pain and depleted the quality of her life. It did not allow her the decision to plan or participate in decisions regarding the quality of her death.

My father died under similar circumstances, in a hospital, delirious with failing kidneys and hospital-induced infection.

It is perfectly clear that the majority of medical interventions make perfect sense based on precedent.
I would have died multiple times without the intervention of my dentist. I prefer not to suffer a violent death based on an infected tooth. The path and the plan are generally clear when it comes to simple dentistry. Without that skillful diagnosis and intervention we would suffer inappropriately. My dentist deserves sanctification. He spends half his working week treating the homeless and the poor, pro bono.

So, once our teeth are fixed, what then?


Returning to the haunting concepts of Quality, Culture and Innovation, I ponder the quantification we as a society have historically given to the value of life. The saying says that "life is precious".

How precious?

When we lose the ability to give and receive love, when we lose the ability to give and receive beauty and when pain and suffering are our only experience, then we should have a choice.

My friend Marvin sketches and paints, has travel plans and continues to make music. He says that he has no physical pain. Marv has chosen life. He could use a roof.

Geoffrey dotes on his grandchildren and looks forward to his getting back on that goddamn bike. Rodney's humour and his ability to share it never fails and Bob continues to re-invent himself every day. Dan is in the Philippines touring and Allan continues to make music. These boys from my youth still strive for quality, culture and innovation because of the positive outcomes of medical intervention.


On the other hand, my friends who are doctors have another perspective.
They will not ultimately allow the system to determine the quality of their death.

When it comes to that they all have access to the good drugs.

Perhaps they know something that they are not sharing.

Now I have a headache.

Etched on my stone tablet

Editing : Batsheva