QQ : NUMBER FORTY - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

A  D E C K  O F  Q U E S T I O N S,  A L M O S T  A  R O Y A L  F L U S H  O F  A N S W E R S.
                                J U S T  M I S S I N G  T H A T  D A M N  A C E.

             T H E  M I S S I N G  C A R D...........T H E  C A R D  O F  C O M P A S S I O N.

QQ: 1. THE FILLY BUSTER

Question:

What's the difference between red and blue?

Answer:

A Democrat pays now.
Fix the bridge before it collapses.

A Republican pays later.
Rebuild after it collapses.

There is no difference.

If a few people collapse in the process, that's life. Some people got shot on the bridge trying to escape Katrina. It wasn't even in danger of collapsing.

QQ: 2.  GROUND-STANDING

Question:

What's the difference between a Canadian and an American?

Answer:

A Canadian lives longer, is healthier and has lower stress, but is cold and
bored.

An American has shorter longevity and is sicker with more stress.
But he can stand his ground.

Americans are not boring.

QQ: 3. THE STATE OF EIRE

Question:

If Barry O'Bama was actually born in Ireland rather than Kenya, would he more qualified to be president?

Answer:

Maybe he should acquire an apostrophe.

Birthers might consider Ireland to be the 51st state, so... yes. It's not a racial thing, they just want their country back.

They don't want their country black.

QQ: 4.   A PETRO STATE OF MIND

Question:

If Australia and Canada were not gigantic quarries full of an infinite store of mineral resources, would they be so benign and just as "nice"?

Answer:

Australia was settled by petty criminals whose contemporary ancestors, in lieu of owning guns, kill each other with their cars.  The survivors drink themselves to death after beating their wives and drowning their brown neighbors or incarcerating them in concentration camps.

Canadians simply eliminate all environmental controls; eliminate all oversight over governance and they live within a benign dictatorship. The biggest city in the country is lorded over by a crackhead.

God knows how these people would behave without their enormous mineral and oil wealth.

QQ: 5.  ALEXANDER'S HIP-HOP BLAND

Question:

Is EDM actually music? Is Miley Cyrus the Elvis of the 21st century?
Is Jay Z the Sinatra?

Answer:

A studio photo of Billy Holiday is on my studio wall. Charlie Parker, Charles Mingus, Charlie Watts... and just about anyone named Charles is in my head.
J.S. Bach lives through my hands.

QQ: 6.  THE AMP HAS NO VOLTS

Question:

If Jesus was alive today, would he be a Tea Party member, a member of the NRA or just s simple Conservative Republican?

Answer:

Tony Scalia is the new Messiah.

When he returns to earth Tony Scalia-Christ would declare that corporations are people; eliminate food stamps; deny voting rights to the disadvantaged and provide health care for only those who could pay. He would segregate his churches and schools, pollute his earth and subjugate women.
And that's just the beginning

Who's his daddy?

Try introducing public transport in Nashville. Clearly that must be the work of Satan.

QQ: 7.  EDJA-MACATION

Question:

What does school choice really mean?

Answer:

Government should stay out of the edjamacation business:
After all it's all business. Trillions of dollars in student loans; charter schools run as entrepreneurial enterprises; and those pesky teachers unions wanting tenure.

The result........pure racism, segregation, feudalism and usury.

Education should be an investment similar to infrastructure like a highway or a bridge . It is not a business.

QQ : 8.   THE BRIDGE TO EDUCATION

Question: 

If eduction is in fact an infrastructure-like investment, why is it designed to fail?

In the USA, the bridge has collapsed.

Answer:

You cannot teach a hungry, sick, damaged and impoverished child.

Feed the child, keep him healthy, protect him from violence and then and only then can education begin.

Education must involve the humanities, history, literature, physical education and a myriad of after-school activities. We must teach a child how to be human as well as how to read, write and add.

Is there an app for that?

QQ :9.  A BIG S-MAC 4U

Question:

What do you call a minimum wage worker at Mickey Dees or Wallmart?

Answer:

A slave.

The civil war may not be over. The only mitigating factor might be food stamps and emergency room access.

This week food stamps are being reduced with more reductions to come.
Welcome back slavery.

Is living in a car a symbol of freedom?

Have a happy meal.

QQ : 10.  IT'S A SEMANTIC THING

Question:

Why does a Jew always answer a question with another question?

Answer:

Why not?